Trapped
by Louey06
Summary: "I'm innocent." He muttered to himself. "I'm innocent and I'm still stuck here. Forever probably. D*** you Wormtail."
1. The Beginning

**AN: So this is a story about Sirius' life in Azkaban, from him getting kicked in prison, to his daring escape. Includes some swear words and lots of angst. Ye have been warned!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, that would be JK Rowling**

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><p>The street was crowded. Muggles bustled about doing their daily shopping or other mundane things. Sirius Black pushed past them all, walking with purpose, keeping his target in sight.<p>

Sirius watched him from a distance as he scurried across the street. His movements showed that he was in a hurry, pushing and shoving through the crowd, occasionally glancing over his shoulder. Sirius grinned, knowing the little rat was on the watch for him.

Sirius' pace quickened, not out of fear of losing his target, more because he wanted to get it over with. He needed to finish this, needed to get the revenge James deserved. Lily deserved. _Harry_ deserved.

Finally he was close enough to call out, "Peter!"

The rat stopped stock still and spun around slowly to find Sirius only a few feet away. "Sirius," he gasped.

"Been expecting me have you?" Sirius asked, grinning maliciously.

Peter stood, eyes wide, not moving obviously thinking deeply. Then suddenly he burst into heart wrenching sobs.

"What?" Sirius muttered as passerby stopped to stare.

"Lily and James, Sirius!" Peter gasped through his sobs, "How could you?"

"Oh you wouldn't." Sirius said to himself as he watched Peter pull out his wand. Just as Sirius hand plunged into his robe to grab his own, Peter gave him a fleeting smile.

Flicking his wand behind his back, Peter cast a blasting curse blowing a large crater into the street, while simultaneously cutting off his right index finger.

Peter gasped at the pain, "See you Padfoot." With that he transformed into a rat and scurried off towards the sewer.

Sirius gazed after him, completely shocked. Who knew little Peter had it in him? It was utterly ridiculous! Now everyone would think Sirius had killed Peter, and all the muggles that were currently screaming and running would be able to testify to it.

Sirius started to giggle, Peter the joke, the loser, had beaten him. The giggle slowly escalated into full blown hysterical laughter. Wormtail had gotten the best of them all.

"Stop where you are!" Sirius turned around to see several wizards pointing their wands directly at him. "I am Cornelius Fudge, Junior Minister of the Department of Magical Catastrophes, and you are officially under arrest by the Ministry of Magic."

Sirius laughter increased, he could barely contain himself, after everything he was being arrested by a man named Fudge!

Fudge blinked nervously, "Surrender your wand!"

Sirius pulled it out through his peals of laughter and tossed it to Fudge who caught it with utter astonishment.

"Take me away." Sirius giggled, "Send me to- to Azkaban."

Fudge looked at him as though he were mad, maybe he was, "Well, go grab him!" He ordered to two of the other wizards. They looked nervously at Sirius before hurrying over and snatching him.

"Let's be off," Fudge ordered and Sirius felt the wizards on either side tugging him into apparition.

When they arrived at the Ministry Sirius' laughter had subsided into only a giggle every now and then.

Everyone stopped what they were doing as Sirius and his entourage passed. Sirius was pulled forcibly to the elevator. It was a bit smushed inside and there was no sound except for Sirius' occasional titters.

When the lift's voice said, "Level Two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters and Wizengamot Administration Services." Sirius was pulled off and escorted through the level to an office marked, Bartemius Crouch, Department Head.

Inside the room was very plain. The walls were stark white and everything was in impeccable order. On Crouch's desk there was only one picture. It showed Crouch with a woman and a young child all three smiling happily at the camera. Behind the desk sat Bartemius Crouch himself. He had dark brown hair flecked with gray that was carefully placed on his head, and a straight mustache the same color as his hair.

"Hello Mr. Black," he said in a haughty voice. "I have learned a lot about you in a very short amount of time.

"One of the most interesting things I learned involved you being the secret keeper of Lily and James Potter. Do you deny this?"

"Yes." Sirius said with absolute certainty.

Crouch looked at Sirius with a hard gaze, "Unfortunately for you Mr. Black. I do not believe you."

"I'm telling you the truth. I'll prove it in my trial and I'll walk free." Sirius shrugged, "One man can't send me to prison."

Crouch smiled in an almost evil sort of way, "But that is where you are wrong Mr. Black. Have you been keeping up with recently passed laws?"

Sirius' blank look obviously showed he had not, Crouch smirked, "Well let me enlighten you."

Crouch pulled out a roll of parchment from the depths of his desk. "Legislative Act 223 as decreed by The Department of Magical Law Enforcement the Head of Department has full justification to send any criminal to Azkaban prison with any amount of reasonable doubt. Signed Millicent Bagnold Minister for Magic."

Crouch smiled pleasantly as Sirius face fell, "But you don't understand! I'm innocent! Peter's a rat! He changed and cut off his finger. He killed all those muggles, blasted the street apart! All of it!"

"You are not making any sense Mr. Black. And I don't need to hear any more." Crouch said decisively, effectively shutting Sirius up.

"Fudge, have him prepared for Azkaban," Crouch ordered. Fudge gave him a curt nod and started pulling Sirius out of the room.

"Have fun in prison Black," Crouch said to his retreating back, "You won't be leaving until the devil takes you where you belong."

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><p>Their boat rocked as the waves crashed against its' edges. Sirius sat on the bench, chained and miserable, as Benjy Fenwick pointed his wand directly between Sirius' eyes.<p>

Around them waves crashed and rain pelted the water. Fitting, Sirius thought, for a trip to hell. Or Sirius' hell anyway. He could see it looming in the distance, growing from a speck to an entire island. Walls rose hundreds of feet into the sky only one entrance breaking the solid stone.

Sirius looked away from his prison and looked to Benjy It hurt that this was the one to bring him here. Benjy, a part of the Order, one of Sirius friends. "Benjy, I didn't do it. I swear."

"Shut up you bastard," Benjy growled eyes narrowing in disgust. "Azkaban is too good for you. You are a despicable human being and I don't want to hear your lies."

"They aren't lies!" Sirius said desperately, if only he could convince_ one_ person.

"Do you even understand the pain you've caused?" Benjy snapped, "Harry has to grow up with muggles. The Order is broken and we have no idea what to do. Mrs. Pettigrew can't stop crying no matter what anyone says. And Remus has disappeared and no one knows where he is. And James and Lily are _dead_. These are people you called friends, and you betrayed them. You betrayed us Sirius. The world is in shambles right now and it is all. your. fault."

"I know," Sirius muttered. If only he had been the secret keeper, if he hadn't suggested the switch.

"Disgusting," Benjy muttered. "This is your stop Black." He said as the boat lurched to a stop at the fortress' beach. Benjy pulled Sirius out of the boat and walked him to the gates where a line of Dementors stood guard.

Benjy pushed him into the line and left without a second glance.

One Dementor glided towards Sirius and took a hold of him with one of its cold scabbed hands. As soon as it touched him Sirius gasped as memories began swirling through his head…

_He was five, his mother was pulling him away from his friend. "Disgusting Sirius. I will not have you associating with such filth."_

"_No mummy, she's nice." Sirius cried pitifully as tears began leaking from his eyes._

"_Nice? It is a vile creature, Muggles are nothing but dirt under your shoes, remember that Sirius."_

_..._

_He was nine, his cousin Bellatrix was twirling her wand in her hands. "Auntie has told me you've been acting naughty lately."_

"_I have not been naughty." Sirius said crossly, "I have been telling mother the things she has to know. Muggles are not disgusting."_

_Bellatrix laughed cruelly, "But that's where you're wrong Sirius. They_ are_ disgusting. You know, I've been learning a new curse at school, and I was wondering if you might like to help me practice."_

_Sirius blanched just as Bellatrix screamed "Crucio!"_

_..._

_He was twelve, he stood in front of his parents just after school had let out for the holidays. "This is disappointing Sirius." His father said as he glared down at Sirius._

"_We told you what you had to do and you didn't do it," his mother added._

"_I didn't do anything wrong," Sirius insisted. "I didn't choose to be sorted like this!"_

_His mother glared at him, "Gryffindor. The house of the _brave_. Are you brave enough to leave your family? To turn your back on our ways?"_

"_No, I don't want to leave. Can't you see Muggleborns aren't so bad?" Sirius begged, "They're nice people."_

"_What a pity," his mother snarled, "To lose such a smart boy to the Mudblood lovers."_

"_Lose?" Sirius asked in confusion, "I'm still your son."_

"_No," His father replied, "I will no longer call you a Black. We are related in nothing but blood."_

_..._

_He was fifteen, in the Shrieking Shack for the first time. He, Peter, and James sat on the floor as Remus paced. "It's almost time," Remus said as he paced. "Any moment now."_

_Suddenly his pacing stopped. Remus gasped as he doubled over in pain, "Change," he moaned, "Change NOW!"_

_Sirius watched as his friend began to scream, writhing in agony as his body began to change grotesquely. Fur sprouted from his back and sickening crunches sounded as his bones broke and elongated turning into that of a wolf. As his screams morphed into howls James prodded Sirius' side, "transform." James muttered not taking his eyes off Remus either._

_Once Sirius was a dog he was looking into the fierce yellow eyes of a werewolf._

_..._

_He was sixteen, standing in his parents living room screaming at his mother, "I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!" _

"_IS THAT SO?" his mother bellowed back, "THEN GET OUT! GOOD RIDDANCE! YOU HAVEN'T BEEN A TRUE BLACK SINCE YOU WERE ELEVEN YEARS OLD! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU UNGRATEFUL SWINE!"_

"_FINE!" Sirius retorted, grabbing hold of the trunk at his feet. "I'LL LIVE WITH JAMES! HE'LL TAKE ME. HE ACTUALLY _LIKES_ ME! MRS. POTTER IS MORE OF MY MOTHER THEN YOU EVER WERE!"_

"_LIKES YOU? NO ONE LIKES YOU! YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THEN A BLOOD-TRAITOR!"_

_..._

_He was sixteen, sitting in his dorm room explaining to Remus what he had done. "…So, it was all an accident you see. Can you forgive me?" He asked hopefully. _

_Remus sat on his bed staring at Sirius. For what seemed like hours he didn't respond then, "No. I cannot forgive you."_

"_But Remus-"_

"_No." Remus stopped him, "what you did was unforgivable. I trusted you and you betrayed me."_

"_I swear I didn't mean to Remus." Sirius pleaded._

"_It doesn't matter if you meant it!" Remus said angrily, "Snape could have died. I could have killed him. Or worse, turned him into something like me._

"_Do you know what they do to werewolves that kill Sirius? I would have been executed. And it would have been _all your fault_. I will never forget what you have done tonight."_

_..._

_He was nineteen, he had just returned from an order mission to find a note on his kitchen counter,_

_Sirius,_

_Mr. Potter has passed away. James needs us. Come over as soon as you get home._

_-Remus_

_..._

_He was twenty, He and the Prewett twins were hidden behind a bush as Death Eaters cast spells at screaming Muggles. _

"_Sirius you have to get out," Fabian said._

"_What?" Sirius asked, "No. I'm not leaving you here."_

"_Sure you are. We'll take these idiots. You go back to headquarters and get help." Gideon said as he peered around the bush, just to dive back in as a flash of light flew past._

"_But-" Sirius tried to argue._

"_No buts." Fabian said, "Just go."_

"_Oh, and just in case, make sure Molly and the kids know we love them." Gideon requested. "But I'm sure we'll be fine."_

"_I can stay." Sirius said, "Really."_

"_GO!"_

_..._

_He was twenty one, staring into the cold dead face of his best friend. "James," he whispered through a heart broken sob._

"_After everything, you can't be gone James." He said, shaking his friend, "C'mon Prongs wake up."_

_But still his hazel eyes remained glassy and blank, never again to be filled with mischief, "PRONGS WAKE UP!"_

_..._

_He was twenty one, standing in Mr. Crouch's office, "But you don't understand! I'm innocent!"_

_..._

_I'm innocent._

...

_I'm innocent._

...

I'm innocent.

Sirius broke back into the present. He found himself being locked into a cell. It was small, slightly larger than your average broom cupboard. In the corner was a small pile of straw, a bed assumedly, and in the other corner a pitcher of water and a glass. There was one window. Just large enough to get a glimpse of the moon.

He sat down on the floor and put his face in his hands, "I'm innocent." He muttered to himself. "I'm innocent and I'm still stuck here. Forever probably. Damn you Wormtail."

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><p><strong>AN: I love this. I absolutely adore this story in every way. The memories especially. But wait there's more! This story isn't finished! I'm going to keep making oneshots about Sirius' stay in prison. This story, as much as I adore it, will not be my top priority. I'm still workin' on my 'Reading' series and I have to put that first. So expect to keep seeing one shots, just not all at once. When inspiration strikes, I'll be all over it.<strong>  
><strong>One more thing, a favor, if you would kindly go on my profile and answer my poll I'd be much obliged, it's for another story I have in the works. <strong>  
><strong>Hope you adore this as much as I do, please review and tell me your thoughts! <strong>


	2. The Difference

**Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me.**

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><p>Azkaban wasn't exactly as Sirius had always imagined it. He'd heard plenty of horror stories as a child. People going mad after only a few days, the constant chill that crept through a person's very soul, and of course the utter despair that filled a person as soon as they stepped foot into the place.<p>

Chill? Check. Despair? Sort of check. Madness? No.

Why wasn't Sirius utterly mad by now? He'd been here for at least a few weeks, maybe more; there were no calendars in Azkaban. And by all means of logic he should be out of his mind.

But he wasn't. He was still completely logical, well most of the time. Sometimes he feared he was going mad, but after sleeping for a while he felt better.

It was strange, what made him different from all the other crazy screaming prisoners in this place?

He was definitely in Azkaban. And he could feel the Dementors chill so he obviously wasn't immune. His happiness was basically gone, he mostly wallowed, but he wasn't crazy exactly. More like bored. He was angry a lot too. At Wormtail, at the ministry, Crouch especially. He sat around moping a lot.

But that was something wasn't it? He wasn't supposed to be here. He'd done nothing wrong, other than seriously misjudging a friend's character. He was an innocent man held captive by an unfair government. So maybe he was a little different.

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><p><strong>AN: Is this short? Yes. Is it my favorite? No. But I thought it was important to know about Sirius difference from the other prisoners. To make up for this shortness I'm posting two chapters today. I hope you like them both. And please review! Just for me?<strong>


	3. The First One

**Disclaimer: Everything you see belongs to J K Rowling.**

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><p>Azkaban is boring. Sirius sat slumped against the wall continually throwing a rock at one of the walls. Most unfortunately the rock was not a ball, and did not bounce back. So Sirius was forced to crawl over and retrieve it each time.<p>

"Merlin I'm bored." Sirius sighed as he threw the rock again, "And this is the dumbest game ever."

He decided to partake in another 'fun' prison game. Cell watching. He crawled over to the cell's bars (he was too lazy to actually get up) and started watching the outside of his cell. Usually there wasn't much to see.

He had started seeing Death Eaters lately. They all came quietly oddly enough. Not much screaming for mercy, until they fell asleep of course.

At first it was pretty dull, just some Dementors floating around, sucking happiness as usual. Then something remotely interesting happened.

"No! No! Mother, please! Don't let him do it! I _am_ innocent I swear!"

Sirius peeked farther out of the cell to see two Dementors dragging a boy, maybe nineteen or so, past his cell. The boy looked to be crying his blond hair flopping all over his face.

"Who is that?" Sirius muttered to himself, most helpfully, the boy answered his question.

"Please! My father is Barty Crouch! I can't be sent to Azkaban, especially not by _him_!"

Sirius was slightly unhappy when the boy was placed in a cell close to his own. The screams continued through the night, and on into the next day. Slowly they became farther apart. Until they stopped altogether.

Several days later, weeks, months, years, who knew really? The boy once again made a noise, though not precisely a scream.

"Mother!" The boy exclaimed. He seemed almost happy, something unheard of in this place.

Sirius went over to the cell door and peeked out to see two people standing outside the boy's cell door. Around them a silvery fox patronus glowed, circling them to keep the Dementors away. It appeared to be a couple; the woman was leaning heavily on the man.

Sirius tried to get as close as possible to better hear. As he got closer some of the warmth of the patronus soaked into him, he smiled slightly for the first time in ages.

"I knew you'd come," the boy was muttering in that half mad voice Sirius sometimes talked to himself with. "I knew you'd save me mother."

"Of course I will darling," the woman replied putting her hand through the cell door to get closer to her son. "Take this dear, it will all be better."

Take what? Sirius wondered as he stared at the family.

"Of course mother, whatever you want. Just don't leave me here again. Don't let father do it. Please!" The boy begged, the last word coming out closer to a scream.

The mother started crying, "Don't be like that," she begged, "Don't be so sad. I'll make it all better. Your father is going to help you."

"Father wouldn't help me." The boy replied, scathingly, "Father sent me here, he hates me."

Obviously the boy was so crazy he didn't know his father was standing right there. Or was it his father? Sirius wasn't quite sure.

"I will son." The man said, definitely the father then, "If you're positive this is what you want?" He said turning towards his wife.

"Anything to stop his pain," she muttered staring into the cell. "I'll do anything."

The couple walked into the cell, Sirius heard quiet murmuring only catching snippets, "You must drink it-" "Winky will watch-" "-invisible-"

Just as Sirius was losing interest the couple walked back out of the cell. The mother was really being supported now, she could barely stand straight. She looked ridiculously happy.

The father looked back into the cell, much more tenderly then before. "Are you positive?"

"Yes! Go, before it wears off." The boy replied.

Finally Sirius got a good look at the man and his wife as they passed. "Crouch." He growled.

"Crouch! You fucking bastard. First me, then your own son? Hope you at least gave _him_ a trial!" Sirius called after the man.

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't," Crouch replied coldly as he dragged his wife out of the prison.

Oddly the boy's screams started again at night. But this time they were different.

"Barty!" He screamed, "I take it back! I've changed my mind. Save me! Please! Save me _and _him! Please!"

Sirius rolled over on his straw pile. If only the others would shut up so he could sleep!

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><p><strong>AN: I love this chapter. I think it's very good, and it was loads of fun to write. In case you didn't understand, the last bit was Mr. Crouch saving Crouch Jr. from Azkaban. And the very end was Mrs. Crouch screaming for mercy. About the chapter title, the idea was that Crouch was the first one to escape Azkaban. Please leave a review it sure would make me happy!<strong>


	4. The Escape

**Disclaimer: It ain't mine y'all. Sorry!**

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><p>He was going mad. Sirius paced around his cell, not able to think straight, the Dementors were getting to him again. He needed an escape, a way out.<p>

…

"_Sirius he's dead. Deal with it!" Remus screamed at him._

…

"No," Sirius muttered as he paced trying to clear his head. "I'm innocent. I don't deserve to be here. Don't think about the past. Don't think about the past!"

…

"_I can't believe you'd say such a thing!" Lily yelled as Sirius cowered under her scathing gaze._

…

Sirius groaned shaking his head, "I don't want to think about that," he muttered angrily. "Why can't I think of anything happy?"

…

_James was glowering at him again, "Sirius you have gone too far. I can't be friends with someone like you."_

…

"No James!" Sirius called, "Don't say that!"

Sirius tried desperately to reach to figure of James that appeared before him. As soon as he blinked, James was gone.

Sirius cursed under his breath and resumed pacing, "Idiot! James isn't here. Just you. Here in prison. By yourself. No James, no Remus, no Lily, no _anyone_!"

Sirius angrily kicked one of the walls, then cursed wildly as he hopped around on one foot at the pain. "Why can't anything go right in the god forsaken place!"

Sirius looked up as a blood curdling shriek tore through the night. "Just some other mad person," he muttered.

The shriek reminded him of something. What? He stood there for a moment, face screwed up trying to remember what it was.

…

"_Change. Change NOW!" Remus broke off into a hair raising scream as he began to transform._

…

"Moony." Sirius said sadly. "And Padfoot."

Sirius gasped suddenly, inspiration striking. "Padfoot doesn't think like me." He began muttering excitedly, "He doesn't feel like me. If I changed into Padfoot then_ I _couldn't feel me!"

Sirius was excited by his plan, not happy, never happy in Azkaban. Maybe it would work? Only one way to find out.

Sirius closed his eyes and concentrated all of his will into changing form. He thought of his dog self. Less complex, smaller, easily distracted, easily pacified.

Suddenly the change began, it felt as though Sirius were melting, gradually changing from one being to the next.

When Sirius reopened his eyes everything was larger. Colors were distorted, everything took on a grayish hue.

Everything was so much easier now. Everything could be pushed away into little compartments and forgotten. Really it was better this way, Padfoot thought, as he poked his nose into some of the straw on the floor.

Oh no, one thing was better human, Padfoot thought wrinkling his nose. The smell, unwashed human smell leaked from every corner of the place, as well as the wicked stench of death and decay.

Suddenly Padfoot whimpered as a cold passed over him, it was frightening, what was it? He looked out of the cell bars to see a Dementor standing there, pulling open the door and setting a food dish into the cell before leaving again, pausing a moment in front of the cell, as though slightly confused, before floating off to terrorize other prisoners.

Padfoot shuddered slightly, the Dementor had made him uneasy, but the feeling passed as the dementer left.

He sat down in the middle of the cell and laid his head onto his paws. Things were much easier as a dog, Padfoot decided. Everything was black and white, literally.

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><p><strong>AN: Not my best I admit it. But I do like the beginning. And to make it clear, Sirius is not crazy as a dog. Being canine just helps him to forget him problems, in the books Sirius said that dog emotions are less complex then human emotions. I hope I portrayed that all right.<strong>

**A note to the unsigned reviewers:**

**reader (): thanks for your reviews, sorry I didn't respond to them in the last chapter. I meant to and then I posted the chapter and was like, dang I didn't respond! I hope you'll forgive me. I'm glad that you like the story. I loved the memory of James too. The memories generally are just fun to write.**

**Thanks to all the people who reviewed the last chapter and I hope that you will review again and anyone that didn't review last time, please do so now. It would really light up my day. Thanks a bunch!**


	5. The Nightmare

**Disclaimer: T'isn't mine sorry!**

Sirius was running. He wasn't quite sure if he was running from, or running to, he just knew he had to pick up the pace.

The world around him swirled, clouds of foggy mist obscured any surrounding that might be there. Sirius knew there was something beyond the mist, something horrid that he never wanted to encounter. So he kept running.

The farther he ran the more the mist lightened. As opposed to the dark mass of swirling fog there were now patches of light shining through. While this looked less frightening, Sirius knew that it was going to get worse, the thing that was trapped behind the mist could now break free, and that scared him.

The clouds began to solidify, Sirius' pace slackened until he had come to a complete halt. The mist changed into shapes solidifying into objects. It was as though Sirius had jumped into a pensieve and the world was forming before his eyes.

Before he knew it he was standing in James Potter's kitchen. He was alone. The counters gleamed, Lily always kept the kitchen in order and neat. There was something strange though. There was no sound.

The Potter's house always had noise in it, laughter, music, chatting,_ something_. But everything was eerily silent and still, the curtains stayed completely straight and unwavering.

Sirius whirled around when he heard the soft click of the door break the silence.

"James," Sirius sighed in relief smiling broadly at his best friend. The smile slipped when Sirius saw the look of impassiveness on James' face. "James?"

"You betrayed me Sirius," James said in a strangely flat tone, echoing throughout the room.

Sirius eyes widened and he stumbled away from James, "No. No, I di- didn't. Wormtail did it. I'm- I'm innocent."

Lily suddenly appeared at James side, her face the same impassive mask that so frightened Sirius, "You told us to change to Peter." Her voice also echoed in the same frightening way. "You said he would protect us."

"I- I thought he would," Sirius stuttered, nearly knocking over the table as he backed away, "I swear I had no idea."

"Because you blamed me." Suddenly Remus appeared on James other side, his head was cocked as it always did when he was in deep thought, though his face showed no thought at all, just cold withdrawl. "You blamed me for something I never did."

"All the facts," Sirius muttered, "they all pointed to you. I regret it now."

"Of course you do," James said, "All you will ever do is regret. You always choose wrong don't you Black?"

Sirius face contorted with pain, "I never meant-"

"Never meant? Ha," Lily laughed in a malicious way, "But you'll never be able to fix it Sirius. We'll always be dead."

"And I'll be alone." Remus added coldly.

"And it's all because of you." James said, finally hate began to creep into his voice and face, "All because you were too cowardly to be our secret keeper."

"Not cowardly no." Sirius stuttered not sure of what to do when his very best friends looked at him with such hatred and disgust.

"You've always been a coward Sirius," Lily said stepping towards him, James and Remus shadowing her. "You've never been able to do anything alone. Without your friends, you are _nothing_."

"NO! I am something." Sirius screamed pushing himself away from them. The kitchen started to dissolve again, the mist was returning, but James Remus and Lily continued to advance, solid and angry.

"You killed us Sirius." James' voice pounded through his skull.

Remus' voice joined, quietly snaking its' way into Sirius thoughts, "You left me alone. Left me to fend for myself."

"You abandoned Harry. You left him with Muggles." Lily's voice was like a knife, slicing straight to his heart.

"It was an accident! I didn't mean any of it! I want to take it back!"

"Silly little Sirius," Bellatrix's voice suddenly broke through the mist, her shrill laugh echoing eerily around Sirius. Remus, James, and Lily dissolved into the mist, their voice still ringing, "You can't take it back. You'll need to be punished."

"NO!" Sirius yelled and he began to flee, using all of his energy. Sirius was running.

**AN: I like this chapter, it was interesting trying to get the pictures in my head onto the page. I hope I did all right.  
>I was wondering if anyone had a good idea for jailtime activites for Sirius? Any more scenes you might like to see? I'm running low on ideas of what a person can do in a 10x10 foot cell.<strong>

**To the unsigned reviewer:  
>reader (): Thank you for your kind words of praise they make e very very happy!<strong>

**I really have nothing else to say, I hope you all liked the chapter and leave one of those lovely reviews for me**.


	6. The Ghosts

**Disclaimer: I only wished I owned this little beauty, but alas, I don't.**

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><p>He tried not to think about them. Sometimes it was hard, other times it was slightly less hard but still difficult.<p>

He constantly saw their blank, dead, eyes staring unseeingly up at him. Their eyes followed him no matter what he did.

As he slept they would intrude into his dreams. In his waking hours they would watch over him, constantly keeping him on guard.

He was being haunted by their ghosts. James and Lily followed him everywhere.

It was as though they were his own personal bodyguards, keeping him in check. Forget the Dementors; James could inflict much deeper pain with only his absence. Lily could suck out his soul without any need for a kiss; a mere glance could do it. Harry pulled at his heart every moment of the day, making him crave the boy's presence.

His ghosts followed him, reminding him with every move he made, every breath he took, of their losses. And all that he personally had done to destroy their young lives.

He'd been sitting in this cell for years, haunted by ghosts of his past, trying to escape reality by transforming to a dog. And he deserved it. He deserved to be sitting in Azkaban; God willed that he be punished for his crimes, which is what they were.

He'd sinned, he had killed his best friend, his best friend's wife, and their child's only hope of happiness. It was sickening, the things he had done repulsed him every moment of the day.

He couldn't imagine anyone who deserved this more, no. There was someone who deserved this more than he did. Peter Pettigrew.

Wormtail deserved it just as much, if not more, than Sirius did. The slimy little rat was the one who caved to the dark side, Sirius had held strong. He had grown up in a family that lived the Dark Arts and made it out alive.

If Sirius had his way he would have killed Peter that day. He would have accepted going to Azkaban for it, he deserved to, he had already committed evil. But if only he had given Peter punishment, death, Dementors, anything that would make him suffer.

Sirius would have been able to think of the perfect way to torture Wormtail, planning and execution were always his strong points. It would have been long and painful for the little scum ball. Sirius would have seen to that.

But, Sirius was left here in Azkaban, fighting his inner demons and living day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, breath by breath.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Short? Yes. Sort of rambly and odd? Yes. Do I love it with all my being? Absolutely. I really don't know what happened to this chapter, it started one way and ended somewhere totally unrelated. But I like it, it sums up Sirius' thoughts nicely. And by this point Sirius has basically gone mad, being cooped up for so long, his thoughts don't really make sense any more. <strong>

**The the unsigned reviewer!**  
><strong>reader: I loved last hapter, it was actually supposed to be a dream, a nightmare to be exact. I felt so bad for sirius as I wrote it. Actually I feel bad for Sirius any time i write this story. I'm soo mean to him. As for bellatrix, she was a bit random I admit, but you remember in the first chaoter the memory of Bellatrix torturing him? I see Bellatrix as a sirt if childhood tormenter, and I think Sirius would remember her as such. Plus can't you just imagine her evil cackle chilling your bones as you ran through a swirling unknown? i know I can. than ks a lot for reviewing, I hope to hear from you again!<strong>

**So that's it for now folks. I hope you'll review, I know it would make me very happy. And it will make you happy too, happiness flows you see, we all get it together! **


	7. The Attempt

**Disclaimer: I own nada, zip, and zilch**

**WARNING:**** This chapter is about Sirius contemplating suicide. If this bothers you I suggest you not read it.**

There had to be a way to do it. A quick way, an easy way, a painless way. Alright maybe not a painless way, this wasn't really a painless sort of thing.

Sirius bit his lip as he paced, by now he must have burrowed into the floor with all the pacing he'd done. It was funny, before Azkaban he had never been a pacer, much more of a get-up-and-go type of person. Remus had been the pacer, he actually had worn a hole onto the floor of the Gryffindor boys' dormitory.

No, back to topic, Sirius scolded himself furiously. Honestly, he'd never go through with this if he kept getting of topic.

"Let's see," Sirius murmured ponderingly to himself, "How shall I go about this?"

"I could starve myself of course." He said, weighing the option carefully.

"No, no, much too long. That could take ages," Sirius looked down at his emaciated frame, "Or not so long actually."

"But still," He reasoned, "Not the way I want to go."

Sirius continued pacing, looking about his cell for inspiration, "I could stab myself," He proposed picking up a rock off the ground. He pushed his thumb against the top if it, "Not sharp enough to do any damage."

Sirius threw down the rock and walked towards his bed, "Is it possible to be smothered in straw?" Sirius picked up a tuft of the stuff to examining it.

"Doubtful," he threw down the clump in disgust. "Why is this so damn hard?"

Sirius was starting to get a bit discouraged with this. Who knew suicide was so difficult? No wonder more people didn't do it. He started looking around the cell again, there had to be a way.

Sirius looked through the little window that adorned the wall of his cell. He stopped at what he saw through it. The full moon.

He stared at the celestial orb for several minutes, thinking of his best friend, the only one left that is. How could he be considering ending his life when there were people on the outside going through so much more pain and enduring it?

He was such a coward that he never should have been put in Gryffindor. Here he was giving up everything for no good reason. So what if he was tired of living like this? He could survive it. Damn it, he _would_ survive it. He'd get out of prison once he'd paid his dues and he would be alive and well.

With that resounding thought he transformed into a dog and started howling up to the moon.

What seemed like years away, a large gray wolf did the same, howling mournfully at the moon wondering what had happened to his lost pack.

**AN: I really loved this chapter, it was sad to write, but I really do think Sirius would have cracked at some point living as he had been in Azkaban. And for those of you who noticed, the reason Sirius' dialogue was written in conversational style is because Sirius is starting to go over the deep end a bit. I hope all of you enjoyed this I know I did. Please leave me a review with any comments you have. Any chapter ideas would be greatly appreciated too.**


	8. The Unveiled Truth

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. If you haven't figured that out by now, please go seek help.**

Outside of Azkaban the world had a sort of veil over its eyes. People called it optimism. Sirius called it stupid.

It was only now, when all traces of the veil had been lifted by the dementors, that Sirius realized his eyes had been covered as well. He'd always thought he had seen things the way that they were. He had assumed that his childhood had knocked any delusions from his mind.

But now he knew just how naïve and thoughtless he had been. As he reflected on his life, he saw what a total idiot he had been. And even worse, a bully.

Outside of Azkaban he remembered pranks fondly, always having tears of laughter come to his eyes. He remembered the smiles and chuckles of camaraderie that he and James had shared, now those were taken away.

For instance there was a time in fifth year that he and James had cornered Snape,

…

_Sirius and James were racing through the halls of Hogwarts as usual, Peter trying pathetically to keep up, and Remus walking behind at a 'dignified' pace._

"_Ha!" James exclaimed, panting with exhaustion as he passed the statue of Gregory the Smarmy that had been their destination. "I- I made it! You lose!"_

_Sirius came to a stop next to his friend, also breathing shallowly, " You ch- cheated."_

"_Didn't."_

"_Did."_

"_Didn't."_

_Their bickering was drawn to a close as Peter finally caught up to them. The boy flopped onto the floor, clutching a stitch in his side, "Wh- why do… do I race wi- with you?"_

"'_Cause you don't want to walk with Moony." Sirius suggested easily, as Remus finally came close enough to be able to hear the comment._

"_Pardon me for not being enticed by the idea of rocketing through the corridors without any personal gain, other than a stitch in one's side." Remus said acidly as he joined the group._

"_Suit yourself, Moons," James shrugged, "I won by the way. Sirius is such a sore loser he'd like to tell you otherwise."_

"_Well you did cheat." Remus said._

_Sirius grinned triumphantly, "told you so! Moony is never wrong."_

_Before James could form a retort the group was interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps. All four of them whipped around (Peter doing an odd sort of jump to stand up properly) and looked to the newcomer._

_A tall boy with sallow skin and curtains of black, greasy hair stood before them. His face showed an odd mixture of shock and the desire to run when he saw them._

_Sirius and James threw a quick grin to each other when they saw the boy. "Hey there, Snivelly!" Sirius greeted cheerfully._

"_No, not today," Remus muttered quietly, but the others ignored him._

_Snape growled menacingly, "Afternoon, Black."_

"_What are you doing here?" James asked, in the same upbeat tone as Sirius._

"_I could ask you the same thing. But seeing as I couldn't care less what mischief you idiots are causing, I'll be on my way." Snape turned back towards the direction he had come from, but James called out to him before he could depart._

"_Without even stopping to chat?" James asked, his voice sounding sad at the idea, "That's very rude, Snivellus. We should work on your manners."_

_Snape spun around, wand in hand, but James was faster, "Impedimenta!"_

_Snape's spin was slowed so it looked like he was fighting his way through a vat of honey._

"_Now, Snivellus," Sirius said, his voice mocking that of a prim teacher, "There are several important mannerisms you should be aware of."_

_Peter chuckled excitedly, the boy was bouncing on his toes, eager to see what Sirius would do next._

"_Our first lesson will be personal hygiene," James educated, "One must always look presentable in the face of company."_

"_Aguamenti." Sirius said pointing his wand at Snape. Several gallons of ice cold water dumped themselves onto Snape's head, as if by a giant bucket. The Impediment jinx had obviously subsided, as Snape was spluttering at normal speed._

"_Why you little-" Snape spat as he pushed sopping wet hair from his eyes. "Sectumsempra!"_

_James dodged the light easily, "That wasn't nice at all, Snivelly. What a horrible, disgusting boy you are. Second lesson no putting nasty curses on people, Silencio."_

_Snape opened his mouth in rage but no noise came out. Furiously he pointed his wand at Sirius and it emitted a yellow shot of light which Sirius only avoided by twisting uncomfortably._

"_Non-verbal spells?" Sirius asked, "You've been reading ahead, Sniv, that should be punished. Reading is never a good thing. Absque visus!"_

_Snape gasped as Sirius spell temporarily blinded him. He began shooting random curses from his wand causing light to dance around the corridor. James threw up a quick shield charm to protect him and his friends._

"W_hat should we do now?" Sirius asked eagerly in a conspiratorial whisper, "I vote torture, or perhaps we could drop him into the lake, I'm sure the squid is plenty hungry."_

"_I'm game," James said, smiling easily. "We have to do something this shield won't last forever."_

"_Let's just leave," Remus pleaded, "there is no need to do anything else. And besides, didn't we want to explore the passage?" He said gesturing to the statue they were pressed up against._

"_True," James said looking longingly between the statue and the angry Snape, "Fine let's go. Sirius, will you do the honors?"_

_Sirius nodded and went over to the statue, he tapped the sword three times with his wand and then twisted it sideways. With a grating squeal the wall behind the statue opened providing a space large enough to walk through._

_Sirius ducked into the tunnel, James and Peter on his heels and Remus following in the rear._

…

Outside of prison Sirius has found the whole thing hilarious. Just another fine example of his and James' quick wit and easily executed jinxes.

Now he didn't even remember what humor was. Laughter was a distant memory that could only be seen as cruel and unforgiving. The only smiles he could recall were vicious and taunting.

Looking at his memory only the words remained in his head…

_I vote torture, or perhaps we could drop him into the lake. I'm sure the squid is plenty hungry…You've been reading ahead, Sniv, that should be punished…What a horrible, disgusting boy you are…_

Torture, punished, horrible and disgusting. These were things that had been said to him. How could Sirius justify inflicting them onto another human being?

And what had Snape done to deserve it? He had taken the wrong path sure, but he'd never done anything to specifically target James or Sirius.

Yet, only Remus seemed to ever understand the horrors they had been inflicting. Why had he never said anything? Why had he just watched in silence?

But Sirius couldn't blame Remus. Remus had been the best of them, but he had made mistakes as well.

Sitting here in his little, dingy, cell in Azkaban Sirius could recognize the horror he had implemented on others. And he was afraid to admit what type of person he really was.

**AN: I love the marauders. So much. I hope you liked this chapter. It might make Sirius look like a very mean person, but it was supposed to. And I don't think of Sirius as bad, he has bad attributes of course, but he's a decent person. In Azkaban, he only sees the bad.**

**The spell up there **_**Absque visus**_**, literally means without vision in latin. It makes the person blind temporarily.**

**To the unsigned reviews!  
>reader: It was hard to think of something to pull Sirius out of his funk but I think the moon worked nicely. Of course I couldn't kill Sirius, he's much too lovable. And just because he gave up doesn't mean I could, this story will reach an end! Eventually. Thanks a lot for your review, you should feel proud that you are the only unsigned reviewer ever for this story.<strong>

**IMPORTANT: I have a favor to ask of you all, I'm Beta-ing a story called **_**Marauders Time**_** by Snowswimmer and it is sadly under reviewed. If you could all go read it and tell her what you think I would really appreciate it. It's a very nice story, and not too long. Please and thank you.**

**So that's all for now folks. If you wouldn't mind I would really like you to push the review button and drop me a line. Tell me if you liked it please? I will give virtual cookies to all reviewers, they're warm… you know you want one!**


	9. The Game

**Disclaimer: Sirius, Azkaban, dementors, I own none of them. N-O-N-E.**

Boredom is something that is not easily rectified. For as long as he could remember Sirius' catchphrase had been "I'm bored." Azkaban had not cured him of this trait, if anything it had intensified it.

Out in the real world curing boredom was as simple as planning a prank, or finding a friend. In Azkaban, Sirius had to get a bit more creative.

Sirius had invented several 'games' for himself. One of the most often played was the counting game.

As one might imagine, it consisted of Sirius counting things. He'd counted the number of bricks on each wall: 45 on the right wall, 43 on the left, 46 on the far wall, and 29 on the wall with door.

He'd counted the cracks on the floor: 56 cracks, and only one tile split in half.

He'd counted the number of straw pieces making up his bed: 157, give or take a few pieces.

The number of bars covering the door: 13, and the window: 5.

The amount of times he had heard someone scream in the night: 3,405.

The amount of times he had cursed Pettigrew: 6,012.

The number of full moons he had missed: 112.

The number of times he'd felt regret for all he had done: 7,402.

He had counted the number of times he'd played this stupid game: 2,057.

More often than not the counting game depressed him. It reminded him of things he'd rather leave unsaid. Unfortunately, when you are bored in Azkaban, there isn't much else to do.

**AN: Am I very fond of this chapter? No. But, unfortunately, I have been battling writer's block and am trying to push through it. Hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter up sooner, but who knows. Speaking of next chapter, would you guys rather see some more memories (And yes they will all be sad memories) or would you like some human interaction? Please give me your input through PM or reviews. Speaking of reviews…**

**To the unsigned reviewers:  
><strong>**reader****: I'm glad you've read my other stories, but no I do not have any others posted under other names. I have several unfinished stories hiding in my files, but no one would want to read those. How am I going to get a lot of chapters for this fic? No idea. Honestly I'm closing in on the end I think. I might have a spinoff of Sirius after he escaped, but not too sure about that. As always, thanks for your review I greatly appreciate it!  
><strong>**Invisiblegirl3****: You actually did sign, but I wasn't allowed to PM you in response, so here are your answers! Did Remus forgive Sirius? Yes. That flashback was meant to be about their fight after Sirius told Snape the secret of the Whomping Willow; I felt it would be pretty traumatic for Sirius. As for the confusion over the veiled chapter, I sort of meant it to be like that. I wanted to throw you off of what the chapter was about. Thank you for your review they were lovely.**

**Okay that's it. I'm done. Please leave a review that would make me happy.**


	10. The Mad Ones

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I cannot claim Sirius as my own, if only…**

Padfoot lay slumped on the floor of his cell. Being a dog blocked a bit of the cold out, but the chill still crept through his fur just well enough to keep him at an icy temperature.

Being Padfoot really was a help though, not just from the cold, but from the constant bitterness that colored his human thoughts. The dementors' impact was also diluted by his canine instincts. One thing that intensified though, was the sounds of Azkaban.

In truth it was almost entertaining listening to the prisoners talk to themselves. It was only when their mutterings became screams of anguish that Sirius minded.

Listening gave him a good idea of what his prison mates were like. For instance, in the cell to his right was a woman. Sirius hadn't a clue who she was, but she spoke with a very high voice, the pitch always made Padfoot's senses recoil in disgust.

She spoke of different curses often. Sirius hadn't heard of a single one of them, they were either extremely dark, or completely fictional. She also spoke to some man quite often, his name was Joseph. Her conversations with Joseph always amused Sirius, many of them ended in similar ways.

"Joseph," She'd say, usually with a very imperial tone in her voice, "Come to me at once! The Dark Lord has forbade it! He's told us not to!"

Then there would be a pause, as though she were listening to his response.

"No of course not Joseph! Why would you ever conceive such a thing?" another pause, then her voice would dip into a piteous shriek, "How could you accuse me of such a thing!"

Sobbing would quickly be added into the mix of emotions she was cultivating, "But I've never done any such thing! How am I to know that it wasn't you? Perhaps it was you who did it eh?"

Hysterical laughter would begin at this point in the gripping tale, "It was you wasn't it Joseph! You told them! You did it, don't deny it! And I've caught you in the act!"

The hysteria would go on for a while before the woman would settle and go mute. Sirius hadn't a clue what she was talking about, or what Joseph had done, but it was interesting to hear the constant mood swings.

On the other side of Sirius' cell was a man, judging from his voice Sirius pictured him as a very large man, the tough sort that are frightening to look at. But despite his deep voice and supposed intimidating looks the only time Sirius ever heard him was when he was blubbering or whining.

His preferred imaginary friend was a girl named Kathleen. He was always complaining to her, whining about this and that, or, quite often, crying to her.

"Kathleen," He'd moan, his whine bringing his voice up several pitches, "How come I have to do it? Can't He make someone else do it?"

At this point it seemed as though Kathleen would reprimand him, Sirius always pictured her as the type of woman who would tell you to 'buck up' and 'pull yourself together'.

"But Kaaath..." He'd moan, "I only just tortured them last week, they don't need any more. Fine! Just this once, c-crucio!" He always stuttered when he talked about the torture curse, as to why, Sirius would probably never know. But it gave him something interesting to think about.

"Kath! That one's coming closer! Keep him back. I said keep him back! Why'd you make me do it? I told you I didn't want to! Ahh! He's coming closer!"

And then, to put the frosting on the cake he'd start whining for his mummy. That was always the best part of the illusion.

Sirius grinned, as only a dog can, as sure enough his cell mates started mumbling as he lay in dog form. As entertaining as they tended to be Sirius could also hear the echoing cries and screams of the rest of the prisoners. Oddly, he'd often hear laughing from somewhere beyond his bars. Someone would laugh from morning to night some days. And that, more than anything else, was truly terrifying.

**AN: Yes I know it's been awhile, and I apologize most profusely. I have had terrible writer's block on this, I've tried writing a new chapter several times, I even finished a few, but none of them were right. If you're a writer you'll know what I mean. On the plus side, you just got a new chapter! I do hope you enjoyed it, I liked it, it was fun dealing with people who actually had gone mad in Azkaban. On an utterly unrelated note…  
><strong> 

**To the unsigned reviewer!  
>reader: So I suppose I sort of had human interaction in here, and memories kind of. Just not necessarily Sirius'. My files might better be left hidden to be honest, though, I'm sure someday a few of them will actually make it past my high standards and into the internet. I sort have the end of this story mapped out, I have a great idea for the last scene, it has already played in my head a few times. And I like the idea of making a sequel, I'm just not sure that will come into fruitition. As always thanks so much for reviewing, I really appreciate it!<br>**

**That's all for now folks! I haven't a clue what next chapter will bring, any suggestion are greatly appreciated as always! TTFN!**


	11. The Betrayal

**Disclaimer: No I don't own this, shocker right?**

Azkaban isn't a normal prison; there was no parole, no 'getting out for good behavior', no humanity. And worst of all, or so Sirius thought, was that there were no visitors.

Sirius had often wondered what it would be like if someone did come to visit. What would he say? How could he tell them of his innocence? Better yet, who would come?

Despite his popularity at Hogwarts, he really didn't have too many friends. Plenty of acquaintances, plenty of girlfriends, but not too many real friends. Not many of friends he could count on to visit him when he'd been wrongfully accused and sent to prison.

Obviously, James wouldn't be coming. The only time Sirius ever saw James was in his dreams, or sometimes he'd 'see' him when he felt particularly lonely.

Lily was another whom he could never see. All due to his own folly, so he had no one to blame but himself at the lack of their presence.

Peter. Peter had been a friend, at one time. But now he was off somewhere, scampering through the sewers no doubt. Sirius missed him, he missed the little, idiot Peter he had once known. The one who would do anything James told him just to remain in the group. _That_ Peter was the one he would have liked a visit from.

And then of course there was Sirius' last friend. The only one who actually had the ability to visit him, had he been allowed of course, Remus.

But he had betrayed Remus just as much as Peter had betrayed James. It was due to Sirius doubts on Remus' loyalty that they were all in this mess in the first place. Sirius had dropped Remus as soon as suspicions started, he had never stopped to think about whether Remus would ever actually betray them.

Looking back, his convictions had been ridiculous. Which James, of course, saw right away

…

"_James," Sirius said authoritatively as he walked into the Potter's living room. "We have to talk."_

"_Someone seems very _serious_ today." James joked smiling slightly at his own humor._

"_I'm not kidding, it's about the war."_

_James immediately sobered at the mention of war and gestured for Sirius to take a seat on the sofa. Sirius crossed the Potter's small living room, stepping over several small baby toys in the process, to sit next to his mate._

"_What is it? Did Dumbledore tell you something?" James asked as soon as Sirius was seated._

"_No. I found this out on my own." Sirius said, "You have to promise to hear me out Prongs, I know it sounds a bit ridiculous, but I'm certain."_

"_You mean this is just some theory you have?" James asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion, "I thought you had news on the war?"_

"_It's about the war, it just isn't necessarily set in stone." Sirius replied, "You know how Dumbledore thinks we have a spy?"_

_James immediately perked up, "You think you know who it is? Who? How d'you know? Where'd you find out? Wha-"_

"_I think it's Remus."_

_Utter and complete silence met his words. James excited exterior faded back into the slightly morbid, suspicious expression that nearly everyone wore in these dark times. "It definitely isn't Remus. What on earth gave you that idea?"_

"_No, listen," Sirius said, and he leaned closer to James in order to share the information. "It all fits! You know that Dumbledore sent him off with the werewolves, maybe they were able to sway him."_

"_You're going to blame him because of his lycanthropy!" James demanded, his face contorting in rage, "Of all the people who ought to know better-"_

"_No!" Sirius exclaimed, no way would he ever be so prejudiced to say that. "It's just that he hasn't had any kind of luck since we got out of school, it makes sense he'd be bitter. And Greyback must have some sort of way to persuade people to his views. Remus is just as perceptible as any other werewolf."_

"_No, he's not." James said resolutely. "Remus has us to help him with everything, those other werewolves don't. I refuse to believe Remus is a traitor just because Dumbledore makes him spy on the werewolves."_

_Sirius sighed heavily, he'd been expecting James not to believe that, incredibly viable and well thought out theory, due to his unwavering allegiance to Remus. But that wasn't Sirius only thoughts on the matter._

"_Fine, so maybe being with the pack doesn't have anything to do with it. But what about the fact of how distant Remus has become of us?" Sirius said. To that James had no response. "See? You can't deny how he doesn't want to talk to any of us. I've hardly said two words to him in weeks; he always finds some excuse not to get together with us."_

"_He's said he just needs time alone." James said. He didn't appear to have any of the enlightenment Sirius had felt when he discovered Remus secret. James had, in fact, not even considered Sirius' ideas._

"_James, you have to consider-"_

"_I don't_ have_ to consider anything, Sirius!" James spat out angrily, "I'm not going to go around pulling at straws to try and convict my friends of treachery."_

"_I'm not-" Sirius tried to protest, but James would have none of it._

"_Yes you are, Sirius. You're searching for answers that aren't there." James said._

_..._

That's exactly what Sirius had done. He'd been searching for the needle in the wrong haystack. Had he listened to James he might have moved past Remus and focused on the real traitor.

If he had been smart enough to listen to James he might still have a friend.

**AN: This is not at all what I was expecting from this chapter. Of course I'm not really sure what I was expecting… Anyway, I like it, nice and long. And it's a memory chapter, the memories are always fun to write. I'd like to thank harryginny9 and reader, my only two reviewers.  
><strong> 

**To the unsigned reviewer:**

**Reader: I'm sorry to hear you're going through writers block, I hope you are able to power through it. I'm glad you liked last chapter. I actually wrote a different version of it ages ago, but I just didn't like it. So I finally decided to give it another go, and wrote chapter ten. As for the other prisoners stories, I don't really know, someday I might delve deeper into them, at the moment they don't even have names, just vague little histories that helped me write last chapter. I did actually go through my files, due to your incessant nagging some of the little stories might actually come out into the light soon. The sequel is a definite possibility, though I'd like to plan it a little better before ever posting it. As always thanks for reviewing!**

**Thanks to all for reading! Please, please, please leave a review!**


	12. The Inspection

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Though Christmas is coming up, who knows what I'll get…**

It was inspection day, Sirius was sure of it. Every so often most of the guards would disappear, and some random ministry official would come and check over the prisoners. What exactly they needed to check, Sirius wasn't so sure, perhaps they just wanted to make sure the dementors hadn't performed anarchy and sucked out everyone's souls. Or perhaps they were curious on which prisoners had kicked it, regardless, they came and walked around the fortress.

Inspection days were generally nice days. The prisoners were granted slightly more food (so they could appear well fed Sirius assumed) and of course the guards were diminished which made it far easier to think straight.

Sirius was curious as to who was coming to check on them today, so he sat at the very edge of his cell and peeked out the bars waiting for someone to come. He sat there for hours, but, having nothing better to do, he stayed vigilantly at his post.

Finally, Sirius could see a human guard leading a very nervous looking man through the row of cells.

The man was wearing a long, heavy, blue cloak, which he kept secured tightly around himself. Sirius was rather amused to think that someone could actually feel the cold of the dementors, he himself was so accustomed to the chill that he could hardly feel anything. The man was also wearing a lime green bowler hat which clashed terribly with the cloak, and made him visible from a great distance.

As they got closer Sirius could hear the men talking, the man with the bowler hat sounded very nervous and his voice was strained.

"Yes, these are the high security prisoners, old Death Eaters and murderers you know?" The guard was telling the bowler hat man.

The bowler hat man become even more nervous, Sirius hadn't known it was possible, "De- Death Eaters you say?"

"Indeed, but don't worry minister, they are very well incarcerated, a dementor watches these doors day and night."

Minister? Sirius thought quizzically, the wizarding world trusted this quivering lump of nerves to protect them? What had the world come to?

"I'm not worried," the minister said, although the audible crack in his voice betrayed him, "I'm sure you do a very good job here. I don't think I really need to see-"

"But minister my orders were to bring you around the whole fortress. I assure there isn't much more."

The minister started fiddling with something in his hands, Sirius couldn't really see what it was though, "Alright then, carry on."

At long last the guard led the minister right in front of Sirius' cell.

"Hello there," Sirius said pleasantly, he was rather irked to hear how scratchy his voice sounded from constant disuse.

The minister and the guard both jumped about ten feet in the air. The guard quickly pulled out his wand and pointed it at Sirius' head.

"Is that necessary? What on earth could I do from in here?"

"S- s- Sirius Black!" the minister squeaked fearfully.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, minister was it? Last I had heard Bagnold was minister, been on the post for long?" Sirius rather enjoyed the look of terror on the minister's face at being addressed by a convict.

"N-no only a f-few years now." He replied. He began to clench the object in his hands tightly; looking closer Sirius recognized it to be a copy of the Daily Profit.

"Anything interesting in the paper?" Sirius asked offhandedly gesturing towards the object, "I never really read it to be honest, I'd just do the crossword once Moony had finished with it."

"You don't say." The minister replied, his voice steady but hardly louder than a whisper.

"Yeah, do you suppose I might have yours? If you're done with it that is. I really miss the crossword, it can get awfully dull in here."

The minister looked between his paper and Sirius before handing it over slowly, careful to stay as far from Sirius as possible.

"Thanks." Sirius said as he pulled the paper from the minister's hands. "Wonder how good I'll be after so long…"

"Minister," the guard said, still with his wand pointed at Sirius, "We ought to move on; you know how quickly prisoners can change mood in here…"

"Yes, I might go off any moment now." Sirius said his voice laced with sarcasm. "Who knows what I could do with this paper, turn it into an airplane and jab you to death."

Obviously missing the sarcasm, the minister leapt back a few feet, "Let's go."

"Nice meeting you as well." Sirius muttered as the two scampered off. Leaning against one of the walls Sirius snapped the paper open.

**AN: Those of you who know your Harry Potter timeline will know that Sirius is very close to escape now. I only have two more chapters planned. Now I know none of you want this to be the end of **_**Trapped**_**, I don't really either to be honest. But I have no more plot bunnies hopping around. This story has just reached its end. But we still have a few more chapters to go, and who knows, a sequel is definitely an option.  
>I've also posted a new poll on my profile and would really like it if you'd all go vote.<strong>

**To the unsigned reviewer:  
>reader: yep writer's block is gone, the laziness however still exists. This chapter was actually written awhile ago, I was just conflicted as whether or not to post it since it means the upcoming ending of the story. Guess, what? I've posted one of the stories from my files, it's called 'Breaking the News' you have finally made me post new story! You definitely ought to check it out; it's sort of dedicated to you since you were the one to inspire me to post it. I hope you'll like reading it. I love memory chapters too, by far my favorite to write. I'm just sad that all the memories had to be depressing. Of course Sirius feels guilty, that's what he does. I always saw that as one of Sirius big character traits, that underlying guilt he holds about everything. Thanks again for reviewing, even if you say you ought to be thanking me. I think you are wrong, because responding to review is half the fun of getting them!<strong>

**Alrighty then, I hope to hear from all of you in a lovely review, and don't forget to vote on the poll! See you next time!**


	13. The Paper

**! Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

The smiling family all waved pleasantly up at him. Their happy faces clearly showed their enthusiasm to be in such an exciting place. The family was ridiculously large; Sirius counted seven children, only one of them a girl. But it wasn't the largeness of the family that drew his eye, nor the exotic location.

It was the rat.

At first Sirius hadn't seen him, he'd been casually flipping through the paper, reading all the boring headlines the prophet had felt the need to publish when he'd come across the photo.

The article attached was very short, it said that Arthur Weasley, who Sirius vaguely remembered from long ago, had won seven hundred galleons. That was very nice for him, Sirius supposed, it really didn't matter much. He glanced at the picture without much interest when he noticed the little gray blob sitting on one of the boy's shoulders.

At first he was just a little repulsed anyone would let a rat sit on their shoulder. He himself had done it on many occasions and knew it to be unpleasant. But then he had looked a little closer at the little animal. He looked so very familiar. Sirius wanted to pass it off as just a coincidence, all rats looked pretty similar, right? But then he saw that the rat was missing something. Something most rats had. A toe.

In his mind's eye Sirius could still see Peter smiling one final time as he cut off his own finger. Sirius knew that once transformed that missing finger would become a missing toe. And what better way to fake death then to live the rest of one's life as a rat? And how better to get news on Voldemort then to settle in with a nice wizarding family to take care of you?

Sirius stared at the little photographic rat, twitching its nose in something like a smile. Just seeing him, happily upon the shoulder of a little Weasley boy set Sirius' blood boiling. He had always assumed Peter was off in some sewer somewhere, scavenging for food and living amongst the rats. Or, if he was fantasizing, huddled in a shack somewhere cold and starving, on the brink of the death he so rightly deserved. And yet there he was, happy and well cared for.

It looked like Wormtail was playing some schoolboy's pet while Sirius was locked in Azkaban, fan-bloody-tastic.

He looked back in the article; it said that most of the children were at Hogwarts. The boy holding the rat in the picture certainly looked school aged, and judging by his allowance for the rat to be in the picture he'd take Wormtail with him to school. So that was it. Sirius knew where Peter was, and he alone knew what the little traitor had done. And he couldn't do a thing because he was on the floor of a cell in prison.

Life is completely unfair.

But as Sirius sat there reveling in the unfairness that had befallen him he was suddenly struck with a thought. He had been in this hellhole long enough that little Harry would be old enough to be in school. Meaning Harry would be at Hogwarts this year.

The same place Pettigrew was.

Sirius' self-bemoaning sorrows suddenly didn't seem so important. Harry was in the reach of a cold-blooded murderer. A Death Eater who hadn't thought twice about killing his best friend. What would he do to that best friend's son?

Who cared about Voldemort, Harry was in enough danger with Wormtail. Sirius had to do something. He had to act.

With that realization Sirius jumped up and got ready for action. Then he saw them.

"Noooo…" He moaned as he saw the cold unflinching metal bars. Prison. He was in prison and therefore was not able to get up and save anyone.

He sank down back onto the floor bracing himself against the wall. How was this fair at all? He couldn't even fulfill his duty as Harry's godfather. Not that he'd been doing a spectacular job up until now…

Guilt began to rain down on him. He'd been left responsibility and he'd squandered it on revenge. And now, here was the perfect opportunity to show both responsibility and revenge, and he couldn't do a thing. He felt so utterly useless sitting there moping. He couldn't take it.

Going on his old dementor evading standby, he transformed into a great black dog. It didn't have nearly as much effect as normal, but it'd have to do for now.

**AN: This chapter isn't half bad considering how much trouble it's given me. I don't know what it is but Sirius was just not cooperating with me on this chapter. Maybe he knows the end is coming and is trying to revolt. Regardless, I got here in the end!**

**The unsigned reviewer!  
>Reader: Of course Fudge had to be portrayed as an idiot, could I have done it any other way? And the finale may not be as grand as you hope, I sort of just have this cute little picture thing that I'm going to include (if I can actually write it that is.) I'm glad you liked my new one-shot, and despite what you say I think acknowledgement was required since it was due to you that I decided to finish and post it. I do agree that getting a response to a review you write is lovely, I always like it, which is why I try to always respond to reviews. This is far too long and I really best finish this so bye for now. I hope you liked the new chapter!<strong>

**I have nothing else to say guys. I hope you will all leave a review and tell me what you think, I would really appreciate it! See you next chapter!**


	14. The End

**Disclaimer: If you haven't figured it out after fourteen chapters there isn't much I can do for you.**

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><p>Sirius' eyes snapped open, he was covered in sweat and his breath came out in ragged gasps. He quickly jumped to his feet and held out his wand arm in a defensive position.<p>

As his heart stopped thrumming erratically his mind seemed to return. He glanced down at his hand to find no wand clutched within it. He was still alone in prison; Peter _hadn't_ just ambushed him and attacked Harry. No, that had just been a dream. Everything was all right.

Except for the fact that everything was not all right. No, if everything were alright Wormtail wouldn't be running around in some Weasley boys' pocket, he'd be under a gravestone and Sirius would be out of prison.

Ever since seeing Wormtail in the paper Sirius had been plagued with constant nightmares. All of them involved Wormtail finishing the job he had started so many years ago and getting Harry, all while Sirius sat helplessly watching. It wasn't as though the thought was implausible, after all Peter was at Hogwarts, bidding his time before he would strike. And Sirius really wouldn't be able to do anything but watch. For all he knew the job had already been done, it isn't as though anyone would actually tell him.

He had to know. He had to find a way to learn what was happening on the outside. He needed a way to protect Harry, to give James the justice he deserved.

He needed to escape.

Sirius was shocked he'd even thought such a thing. Escaping had never even occurred to him before, it couldn't be done. Everyone knew Azkaban was impenetrable. There were no means to escape, he'd just have to sit here and wonder for the rest of his life. Always wondering, never knowing the truth.

Sirius sighed as he sat back down on his bed; he'd been having this conversation with himself for days. Each day awoken by a nightmare, then the realization that he could do absolutely nothing would hit. It would be a matter of minutes now before he succumbed to the need to go canine, the need to use the only escape he knew of.

Sitting didn't help. Sirius needed movement, he needed something to do. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life as Padfoot. Not that the guards would notice if he did. They never really noticed Padfoot at all actually. They just assumed Sirius had finally gone around the twist and lost his sanity.

Without really thinking about it, Sirius started to pace around the room. He had finally succeeded in wearing a hole into the floor, even when he was gone, he'd still be here.

The idea of escape was still fresh in Sirius' mind, ridiculous and crazy, but potent and inviting all the same. He pushed against the bars experimentally; they stayed solid and straight as ever, not even the tiniest give. He even looked towards the window. It was so small though, not even Padfoot could fit through it.

Padfoot, though incredibly large for a dog, was quite a bit smaller then Sirius in his human form. Especially now, Sirius thought wryly, now that Sirius was so underfed and malnourished, Padfoot was hardly more than a sack of bones with a bit of fur.

Sirius looked down at his emaciated arm, it was frail and weak looking, he could easily wrap his thumb and forefinger around it.

He experimentally thrust the arm through the bars. It slipped through quickly, all the way though until it reached his head. "Interesting," Sirius muttered to himself.

Without really thinking about it Sirius transformed into the great shaggy dog that was Padfoot. Down on all fours the bars looked far taller, but also wider. He was able to stick his muzzle and neck through the bars but his shoulders were just a tad too broad. Padfoot pulled his head back into the cell and sat back on his haunches.

He stared at the door for awhile, occasionally pawing at it to see if anything had changed, nothing did of course. It wasn't long before Padfoot felt the telltale chill that signified new dementers approaching.

With his keen eyesight he could see them floating down the row, opening door after door to push in the scraps that made up that nights meal. As they approached slowly a sudden plan struck him.

When the dementer finally stopped in front of Sirius' door Padfoot was ready. He sat as close to the door as he could with attracting attention. As the mottled hand of the dementer slowly pulled open the door Padfoot jumped on his chance.

With only a slight effort he was able to shimmy his way past the dementer into the open corridor.

He looked quickly in each direction not quite sure where to go. He recalled seeing the dementers come from the right each morning when they brought meals. So, logically, the front of the prison must be that way.

He set off down the long row of cells at a brisk trot; he barely spared the other prisoners a glance. When he'd pass a dementer they would stop for a moment, as though confused before floating along on their patrols.

As he passed another row of cells he heard a cackling laugh coming from inside, "Go little doggy be free!" Padfoot peered into the cell to see a woman crouched on the floor, her hair splayed in front of her eyes like a mask as she hugged her knees to her chest.

Her eyes had a strange quality to them, though they were looking straight at him they didn't appear to be focused. In fact it was as though the woman were looking straight through him. Her face was alight with a maniac smile and her laughter continued as Padfoot stared through the bars

"Get out, or you'll be caged like the rest of us!" While her words were dire and grim the smile remained, ever lighting her face with psychotic energy.

Padfoot backed away from the cell door nervously. Was that what he ought to be like? Should he have lost his mind too? The thought scared him; he really needed to get out now. He shook his head and resumed his trek with a renewed vigor.

Where was the door? There had to be an exit somewhere! Padfoot was all but running, all that was surrounding him was cell after cell, each filled with some deranged looking person. Some lay on the floor hugging themselves as they sobbed loudly. Others were more active jumping or running around their little rooms with looks of delight upon their faces. Most frightening of the lot were those who sat, face pressed against the bars, odd wails emitting from their mouths from time to time.

Sirius had never felt so trapped before as he did while he ran through the halls. The pure insanity and terror of Azkaban only now was hitting him, as well as its total security. There really was no way out, he spun in circles, his tail flicking in fright.

He almost wished he could return to his cell. Safe and enclosed, away from all the madness out here. But he didn't know how, everything looked the same. All the cells blurred into a long line of gray. The people were just a loud shout of hysteria and madness.

His panted as he stared frantically around him before he picked a new route. He ran as fast as his legs could carry, he wanted to escape the noise, all the confusion and mad people. There must be a way out, he'd made it past the bars, and yet he wasn't quite free.

After ages of frantic running, twisting through a maze of cells, running past dementers with their chilling aura, Padfoot found it. Not the door, the wall. The great wall the encircled Azkaban, taller than the eye could see it loomed above the little dog, imposing and magnificent.

Padfoot sniffed at the air, trying to smell his way out, but he didn't know what to sniff for. So with a mental shrug he began tearing down the hall, keeping close to the outer wall as he could. Soon a distinctive salty air began to tickle his nose. With renewed hope he sped his already breakneck speed.

He slowed when he saw the great doorway. Unlike the door to his cell this did hold bars. No, in place of bars was a long line of dementers. There was space between them to slip through, yet Padfoot was weary to walk so close to one of them. The last time he had been touched by a dementer he'd nearly drowned in his own mind, overcome by memories of horrid things long past.

Yet he was close, he could smell the salty air, hear the waves crashing upon the perimeter to the island. A few more meters he'd be free for the first time in a decade, he'd finally have the chance to get Peter. All that stood in his way was a long line of swirling black cloaks.

He had to do it. He held onto his breath and walked slowly towards the line. In his head he thought of nothing but why he was leaving. Why it was that he was still Sirius Black despite his years in prison, _"I'm innocent. Get to Peter. I'm innocent. Get to Peter. I'm innocent. Get to Peter."_

As he pushed into the line a cold like he had never felt before enveloped him from all sides, he was being suffocated by the chill. Cloaks black as midnight rustled and swirled around him. Rattling breaths were the only noise he could hear, a rhythmic in and out pushed into his ears, overtaking his brain. Yet through some miracle of resistance he was able to push through.

His muzzle broke past the cloaked line, swiftly followed by the rest of him. He dashed away from the wall heading straight towards the sea. Glancing back he saw the dementers hadn't moved a muscle. Their line remained unbroken and intimidating. The walls looked just as high from out here, yet almost more imposing.

Looking away from the fortress he stared out towards the water. He walked out onto the dock he had first stepped upon so many years ago, yet there was no boat. The mainland wasn't so far away from the island as he had expected. What had seemed like such a long boat ride at the time had probably not lasted more than ten minutes.

It seemed the only way to make it off the island was to swim. Padfoot contemplated the water, wondering whether it would be better to proceed as a dog or a man. In the end he decided being a dog was the best since he was still close enough that the dementers would surely sense a man swimming away from the prison. So, after bracing himself, he jumped in.

The water was nearly frozen it was so cold. The waves thrashed around him, attempting to pull him down into the depths. It took great effort to fight back, but he was able to keep his head above water. Padfoot flailed his limbs against the currents, slowly propelling himself towards land. What had seemed a short swim from the dock now seemed immeasurably long. It was ages before he felt the cold mushy surface of the sea bottom again.

Trembling and frozen Padfoot struggled onto the rocky terrain that was the beach. His fur hung roughly off him, dripping quietly with every step. He struggled out of the reach of the waves, over a large rock and onto a low plain covered in lush grass.

With a little extra effort Sirius transformed back into a man. He flung his soaking body onto the ground, so wonderfully covered with a soft green padding. He all but rubbed his nose into the green earth. It was glorious.

He rolled over so he could see the sky. It was an inky black, dappled with a million stars. No moon showed tonight to taunt him with its presence. He stared up into the heavens, open and unimaginably large; they continued on forever, no longer was their appearance marred by cruel black bars.

Sirius laughed giddily as he stared upwards, "I can't believe it. I'm free."

_~fin~_

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><p><strong>AN: I can't believe it but, this is it. The ending of Trapped, my first multi-chapter that was all of my own creation. I'm so proud of this story, I loved writing it, getting into Sirius' head was very interesting. Azkaban has been wonderful to explore, but it's time to say goodbye. <strong>

**I have some serious thanking to do to each and every one of you. You have been the best readers a girl could ask for. I thank you for suffering through the bad chapters and making it to the end. Special thanks to all those who have favorited, alerted or reviewed this story, you've no idea how much it means to me. And special special thanks to reader and harryginny9 who have both reviewed nearly every chapter and been here since I started the story way back in July. So just thanks guys, thanks for everything.**

**If any of you would be willing to give one last review I'd be eternally grateful. Sadly there won't be a next time, so once and for all goodbye.**

**~Louey06 **


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